JILLIAN SMITH
TOPICS
DUDE. Be Nice Project
At some point in our lives, many of us have experienced what it feels like to be bullied. Whether it's one negative comment that ruins your day, or constant harassment that can make you dread going to school or work, we've been there. It's easy to blame the bully and sweep the bad behavior under the rug with a quick punishment. But there is one question that many people fail to ask, and that is, "Why?" Why is this person going out of their way to make someone feel bad?
When I was in the fourth grade, I was bullied so much that my parents eventually decided to homeschool me. However, in my situation the bullying didn't end when I went home because the bully was my cousin. From writing my name in sharpie on our grandmother's new chair to knocking out two of my teeth, it was never-ending. However, as we've grown, we've gotten closer and now I consider her one of my best friends. After different life experiences, I have come to understand the reasons behind her actions.
During my sophomore year of college, I was a nanny for two children; a nine-year old girl, Ella, and an eleven-year old boy, Lukas. About two months into it, I was informed by Lukas' teacher that he bad been picking on the kids in his class. When I brought this to his parents' attention, he was yelled at and punished. However, that didn't stop his behavior.
A few weeks later, I learned that his parents were getting divorced and he had to start adjusting to switching houses every week. That was when I realized that punishing him and sending him to his room would not solve anything. Once I showed Lukas that I cared and that he could talk to me about how he was feeling, we were able to find a way for him to cope with the divorce without being mean to the other kids. Eventually, his behavior improved and his teacher no longer had concerns about how he was treating his peers.
Children are not inherently mean. Everyone is a product of their upbringing, and it has been my experience that kids who bully others are often going through some type of hardship. Like Lukas, these children may feel powerless in their home lives, so they lash out at others in order to feel better about themselves. In reality, they just need someone to extend them kindness.
When I was bullied, my mom always told me, "Kill them with kindness." That mantra is something that I think partners up beautifully with the "dude. be nice," project. It is my hope that through simple, everyday acts of kindness, we can show young people that being kind to one another is mutually beneficial.
The "dude. be nice," project strives to send the message that kindness is cool. One of the main messages behind the "dude. be nice," project is that "If kindness is going to stick, you have to feel it!"
While antibullying and kindness weeks have good intentions, they are typically focused on talking about bullying and don't really inspire kind actions. According to research, the best way to develop kindness in young people is if they experience what being kind feels like first hand.
I believe that by living everyday with kindness in your heart it is only natural that others will follow. Kindness is contagious. Scott Adams, creator of the Dilbert comic strip said, "There's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end." By extending kindness to others, even when we might not think they deserve it, there is no telling how far out the ripple effect will go.